It is supposed to be enjoyable day of a keralite.....and in my case I was not enjoying that day at all. I felt sick yesterday because of the work, literally short temepered, hated myself being there in the fucking job (sorry for the abusive language). Thats not the end, finishing the job, waiting for the bus, walking in the rain, reached home at 3.00 am.
I didn't feel the rain when I was walking, what i felt was my heart was beating like hell, in a way I felt that heaviness. And it was suffering, really it was. For that moment itself I realized that what a disaster I'm. And I'm feeling the same till now.
What wonderful day as a Keralite, and what a day as person. I need to bear this, because I demanded it. So all blame is on myself.
happy onam wishes to all my friends and family back home.....
Monday 23 August 2010
Sunday 22 August 2010
An effort for rejuvenation
I'm back.....but not with a baanggg.....
Hopefully this time I'm going to stick with my ideas and putting it over here in this blog for no reason...but for some reason....that i dnd know..
Hopefully this time I'm going to stick with my ideas and putting it over here in this blog for no reason...but for some reason....that i dnd know..
Wednesday 13 January 2010
365 days in london
its been 1 year and 1 day on 12 th jan in london.....
amazing journey ..really amazing....
wanted to celebrate my anniversary over here..on the last monday...but It didn't happpend..wat to do? ...leave it...move forward...wat to say more thn this
MJ :o(
amazing journey ..really amazing....
wanted to celebrate my anniversary over here..on the last monday...but It didn't happpend..wat to do? ...leave it...move forward...wat to say more thn this
MJ :o(
Friday 8 January 2010
after a long time
its been a long time I never thoght about coming into my blog and write something.
But today first thing tht i want to do is to take pledge on coming to my blog more often.
The last month was interesting..job...xmas...new year,,,,disseration.....wat a time..
last day of the 2009 was one of the memorable days in my life....I thnk its too hard to forget..it will stay in life for a 100 year from now.....
Hope the end of 2009 brings me the good luck for the 2010....
Its almost an end to an amazing year....that transformed the way I was approaching my life..in a positive way ....This year will be considered as the one of the imporatnt learning chapter in my life . This is not because I have done my masters...no ....
but As mentioned in the above sections(sorry for the academic words..it because my fingers are in the mood of academic writing.and it will take time to come to normal..) Life is endless education with different lessons and chapters...in some we may fail..in some we pass...but theirony is that we wont get the chance resit the failed chapters..it will be there in out profile...for a long time ,,until we perish.....
I know I'm taliking rubbish...I'm jst following my fingers ..which are folowing the alpphabets of my keyword in a disproportinate manner to find the best possible meaning of life, education...and all...
Tomorow I'm gonna submit my thesis...which is almost bull shit....but still..I have to submit....
in my thesis there is a section DEDICATION and in that i have written like
thesis is dedicated to all my frendsz those I met during my masters study and made each and every day special....
If I didn't pass this time...my frndz will defnitly get another dedication soon in the nxt submission....ha ha ha
anyway signing off.....
MJ
But today first thing tht i want to do is to take pledge on coming to my blog more often.
The last month was interesting..job...xmas...new year,,,,disseration.....wat a time..
last day of the 2009 was one of the memorable days in my life....I thnk its too hard to forget..it will stay in life for a 100 year from now.....
Hope the end of 2009 brings me the good luck for the 2010....
Its almost an end to an amazing year....that transformed the way I was approaching my life..in a positive way ....This year will be considered as the one of the imporatnt learning chapter in my life . This is not because I have done my masters...no ....
but As mentioned in the above sections(sorry for the academic words..it because my fingers are in the mood of academic writing.and it will take time to come to normal..) Life is endless education with different lessons and chapters...in some we may fail..in some we pass...but theirony is that we wont get the chance resit the failed chapters..it will be there in out profile...for a long time ,,until we perish.....
I know I'm taliking rubbish...I'm jst following my fingers ..which are folowing the alpphabets of my keyword in a disproportinate manner to find the best possible meaning of life, education...and all...
Tomorow I'm gonna submit my thesis...which is almost bull shit....but still..I have to submit....
in my thesis there is a section DEDICATION and in that i have written like
thesis is dedicated to all my frendsz those I met during my masters study and made each and every day special....
If I didn't pass this time...my frndz will defnitly get another dedication soon in the nxt submission....ha ha ha
anyway signing off.....
MJ
Thursday 19 November 2009
frustration leads to creativity...
Its true..if there are frustration .....in ur life...the best way is to give fire to them and bring them out...but in a different way...not by anger....
working out in the gym is also a stress buster.....but its boring....we have to change the routine of work out to keep up the enthusiasm.........
I trying to help myself by sketching something....and I'm posting here,,,,,
its a famous pic of actress rachel mc adams......
bt she doesn't look like her in my pic...bt its ok....
more to come........
MJ
Wednesday 18 November 2009
hmmm..
its been a very long time tht I have never been here in my blog..its nothing but laziness....
a lot of things were moved so fastly and somethings slowly throgh my mind.....work is going well..nothing much headache...the only thing you need to look after is ur health...by taking food and staying fit....
I'm mentally fit too...but sometimes somethings in our mind makes us bit vague and faint.....we need to tackle tht at anyway...and I did almost well ....
last to last week I got some very good fever....During the nights my full body was shivering and paining..but in the morning it was ok....so I did my usual stuff..going uni...gym....and all....
I didnt tell anythng about this to parents...its not a good thng to tell them...
But all these could be done to ur frnds back home...and I did so wth awarng of not to tell the matter to my home....
my study is very slow.nothing special...on dissertation...hav to keep up the good spirit in near future....
there is a plan..but its not sure......
I want to go home on this january after my dissertation......also I dnd want to go home.......
may be it will be 2-3 weeks...but still confused whether to go or not to go.....my parents really want me to come there....I wanted tht too....going there in my place..in my town...in the shops...meeting ffriends..playing voleyball....I wanted to do watever I have missed in these days....but economically it will hurt me if I go there.....ii wanted to use my own money to fly there live ther and fly back....I hope I can do tht.....
sometimes U thnk tht everythng is going well....and in the other second u will feel tht nothng is going right....sometimes I really get angry...especially in these days....I dnd know....This is frightening me....becoz I was a very very short temepered person 2 years ago....and I changed tht deliberately...by being a listner not being part of the conversation.....I thnk I was successfull too...may be people like me becoz only of this nature....when I'm angry...even I hate myself being me....so how is it possible for the others to like me...its impossible....
so if by writing about my temper, may be I can get back to my lisening mode, and everythng will be smooth.....hope so....
everybody is selfish I thnk...including me.....thts the biggest problem....also thts the biggest solution too....
mj
a lot of things were moved so fastly and somethings slowly throgh my mind.....work is going well..nothing much headache...the only thing you need to look after is ur health...by taking food and staying fit....
I'm mentally fit too...but sometimes somethings in our mind makes us bit vague and faint.....we need to tackle tht at anyway...and I did almost well ....
last to last week I got some very good fever....During the nights my full body was shivering and paining..but in the morning it was ok....so I did my usual stuff..going uni...gym....and all....
I didnt tell anythng about this to parents...its not a good thng to tell them...
But all these could be done to ur frnds back home...and I did so wth awarng of not to tell the matter to my home....
my study is very slow.nothing special...on dissertation...hav to keep up the good spirit in near future....
there is a plan..but its not sure......
I want to go home on this january after my dissertation......also I dnd want to go home.......
may be it will be 2-3 weeks...but still confused whether to go or not to go.....my parents really want me to come there....I wanted tht too....going there in my place..in my town...in the shops...meeting ffriends..playing voleyball....I wanted to do watever I have missed in these days....but economically it will hurt me if I go there.....ii wanted to use my own money to fly there live ther and fly back....I hope I can do tht.....
sometimes U thnk tht everythng is going well....and in the other second u will feel tht nothng is going right....sometimes I really get angry...especially in these days....I dnd know....This is frightening me....becoz I was a very very short temepered person 2 years ago....and I changed tht deliberately...by being a listner not being part of the conversation.....I thnk I was successfull too...may be people like me becoz only of this nature....when I'm angry...even I hate myself being me....so how is it possible for the others to like me...its impossible....
so if by writing about my temper, may be I can get back to my lisening mode, and everythng will be smooth.....hope so....
everybody is selfish I thnk...including me.....thts the biggest problem....also thts the biggest solution too....
mj
Wednesday 4 November 2009
boling point....
I'm on a breaking point.....seriously...I'm....
If I burst out...a lot people is gonna hurt....and i dnd want tht to happen....
so I'm trying keep myself cool and calm.....bt my body is resisting me to be calm and quite.....
lets hope..nothing will happen....and no one will hurt.....
MJ
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)