Finding questions!!!!!

Right now, I don't have an idea what exactly in my mind. Its like a lot of things going around in different directions, colliding with each other, multiplying , and each after each moment the the things are getting increased exponetially. But it doesn't mean that I'm drunk or stoned. I'm perfectly fine but not my mind. Its a total chaos. But i'm sure about one thing whats happening inside my head, it's a hell lot of question marks and some exclamation marks. The words like 'why' 'how' 'when' are most common.

Its kind of questioning myself and getting no answers and I hope that I'll get the answers soon enough. Another important thing which is helpful or lucky or unlucky I'm keeping my self silent emotionally. Its 'emotional silence' which is noted by someone else not me unsurprisingly.
I'm running out of words because the chaos is happening again and I'm loosing my concentration.
So untill next time bye from me.....

my next blog will be a tribute to a special person.

Dissappointed with me....

In fact its been two years I have been in here in so called UK. And inn the second year I have been wasting my time and resources and still I'm not done with it. It still overflowing with a lot of miseries and a lot of unimaginative daily routine.

In the first year celebration of being in London things were a bit different from this time on the second time. Our so called 43A Church road house has been dispersed. But its not the house dispersed. Its the people who used to live went on their way of living. Everybody was expecting that seperation and it happened eventually and I couldn't say whether its been a good, bad or worse. In a way it was good for each one of us to reflect backk at our own life. But in a other way it was breakdown of all the good relations, fun and the goodtimes. I was blessed in a way where ever I reached it was always easy for me to make some deep relationships and I'm happy with my people skill.

In my MDX university life there wasn't too many deep friends but I managed to make some of them very memorable. One guy and another girl. Salis and vaida. Salis bhai was like my elder brother aka friend. I'll never forget him. The next one is so special in my life. I don't know what will happen to the relationship in the future with her. We both are standing against the wave of life and trying to find the best possible opportunities to be successful for ourself and for our family. In a way there is a same amount of pressure building up within our system and we bothe of us struggling. And without a doubt I can say that she is a perfect companion for me. Eventhough there is more differences than the similarities between us there is something special chemistry is there in between us. And we both enjoy that chemistry. Moreover anything I have got a lot of respect for her for being Vaida. And that's enough said....

MJ

Authority of a reader

For the past two months I was reading the book 'Shantaram' by Gregory david roberts. The only time I read that book is when I'm on my way to work and back to home. During the returning journey the possibility of opening that book is very less. In other way I can say that time consuming too read that book on my way to work only.

It set the tempo from the start itself, and it never let down my reach the page I folded last time. That was not as keen as the tempo and grip given by my previous books such as Dan brown series. the special thing about the Dan brown books is Before reading any of his books I started the search for his books. The name came into my mind when there was a buzz about Davinci code. So I backtracked and got the first book Digital fortress and that was interesting one. Then to Deception point, was also a good one. Then I started with davinci code through angels and demons and finished off with Lost symbol. May be because I started reading from the beginner to intermediate to advanced as in the same pace of that books from dan brown. It was easy for me to grasp the difference in the intelligent quotient in each of the books. That was steady growth for me as reader. And in between I read the book 'Tuesdays with morrie', which is based on a true story, and that gave me a lot of new thoughts and sights towards the life. And I'm not shameful to admit that there was two drops of water like substance accumulated in the corner of my eyes, and I'm proud and happy to read that book in my life. Thanks to one of my dear friend, giving that book to me.

And yesterday when I was reading Shantaram, some instance in the book gave me the same feeling of missing someone, a friend of mine who lost his life in a tragic accident 4 months ago. He was a good guy, and its not the way to end a life like this, especially a person who always had a open hearted smile and a good heart. And all the heart beats and the blood flow stopped at a specific time, which is set by someone known as God in the play called Life.

Libor ...may your soul rest in peace.....

MJ :o()

Common wealth games

CWG known as common wealth games which includes around 73 nations this year, is the third biggest sporting event of any kind after Olympics and Asian games. And this time the games is going to held in Delhi, the capital of India. The reason why I'm mentioning about the CWG in my blog is because it is shameful for me as an indian to say that this time its going to be too messy.

Although the media in india having a very good story line in their main stream, because of the amount of money scam and allegations towards the members of the commitee. Around 300,000 crores of indian rupees is put on the games and nobody is sure about the where they put the money whether to support the games or support themselves. I can say one thingh with proud that we are standing 84th in the corruption ranking and its not a good sign at all. Our neighbours are 134 in the same ranking. We have got almost the same cultural background, so its not a surprise.


Almost none of the venues are completed on the deadline of August 1. And most of the sponsors are pulling back from the event. The multinational companies in Indian soil have got proper resources and proper knowledge to invest money. And they don't invest in something which is not profitable.

IOA president Mr Suresh kalmadi claimed that CWG is going to be better than the Beijing olympics. I hope this will become true. But its impossibly challenging. If it happen to be a mega event, then that will be a huge achievement for the faceof india which is demoralised by the allegations and the counter allegations about money and politics.

I'm sure about one thing, whether it will be successful or not some of them india already had good economic boost because of the Common "wealth " game.
The name is a very identical and synonymous with the problems that arose.

all the best for the games.....
pull it off ..from the gutter....Please...

Mj :o)

what a celebration

It is supposed to be enjoyable day of a keralite.....and in my case I was not enjoying that day at all. I felt sick yesterday because of the work, literally short temepered, hated myself being there in the fucking job (sorry for the abusive language). Thats not the end, finishing the job, waiting for the bus, walking in the rain, reached home at 3.00 am.



I didn't feel the rain when I was walking, what i felt was my heart was beating like hell, in a way I felt that heaviness. And it was suffering, really it was. For that moment itself I realized that what a disaster I'm. And I'm feeling the same till now.



What wonderful day as a Keralite, and what a day as person. I need to bear this, because I demanded it. So all blame is on myself.



happy onam wishes to all my friends and family back home.....

An effort for rejuvenation

I'm back.....but not with a baanggg.....

Hopefully this time I'm going to stick with my ideas and putting it over here in this blog for no reason...but for some reason....that i dnd know..

365 days in london

its been 1 year and 1 day on 12 th jan in london.....
amazing journey ..really amazing....
wanted to celebrate my anniversary over here..on the last monday...but It didn't happpend..wat to do? ...leave it...move forward...wat to say more thn this

MJ :o(